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about
Our 2020 Xmas Single, wishing you an uneventful holiday!
lyrics
“Ho ho ho! I guess you probably have something you'd really like for Christmas, little Bobby!”
“Oh gosh Santa, yes, I sure hope you can bring me one of those flexible flyer sleds! That would be so cool!!”
“Goodness, Bobby, you won't be getting a flexible flyer...”
“Oh no, I'm not getting a lump of coal am I???”
“No no no.... you'll just get a cheap plastic sled instead!”
I hope you have a mediocre middle-of-the-road centrist Christmas
The kind no one remembers for very long
With a great big bowl of some kind of flavorless candy
And some decorations hung a little bit wrong
I hope you have a mediocre middle-of-the-road centrist Christmas
With a spiral-cut ham thats overcooked and slightly dry
We'll gather around and listen to the 101 Strings Christmas record
Which we bought years ago though we can't remember why
Friends and family will stop by, though not the ones you like the most
They'll all bring plates of cookies that taste like melba toast
I hope you have a mediocre middle-of-the-road centrist Christmas
With some Bud Light in the special Christmas cans
Everyone will shout hooray when they hear old Santa say
“You can throw away that fruitcake without even opening it, man!”
(chattery empty party sounds section)
I hope you get a mediocre middle-of-the-road gift for Christmas
The kind nobody hates but no one wants
Dad is sure that you asked Santa for a bike
Mom's convinced you said a karaoke mike
So instead you're gonna get an inflatable clock that lights up in the night!
Nobody wants a too-exciting dream-inducing fancy-lighting perfect Christmas
Where every gift you get is just exactly what you want
So I'm sure that you'll agree
That the thing we really need
Is a Christmas that we can't remember if we liked or not!
credits
released December 24, 2020
Raph Worrick, intro, songwriting, singing, guitar, auto-vari, Casio
Matt Rogalsky guitar, bass, backing vocals, sleigh bells, mixology
Bronwyn Worrick and Meg Harris, graphics
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